What Can I Expect?
by Stealing Time
Summary: Haldir. You said you loved to be my guardian forever.Why you disobeyed your commitment? New chapter has done. Thanks for your reading.
1. Chapter 1: Am I guilty?

**Summery: **

**Haldir took a revenge on someone. **

**Why is he not happy with it?**

**Will he be punished?**

**Paring: Haldir and Arwen**

**Disclaimer: I own none of the following character or settings. All of them belong to the Tolkien estate.**

**Author's Note: This idea is just my fantasy. If you don't like the paring, please ignore this fiction.**

**Chapter 1: Am I Guilty?**

Arwen arrived the prison that jailed Haldir. She felt terrify and couldn't stop to shiver. Her heartbeats became faster than usual and she even had no courage to get in there. The cold wind blew her pale face and frozen her delicate body. She couldn't imagine how Haldir could suffer the situation of this bad weather? Could he survive? Could he?

"Welcome. Princess Arwen." The prison warden bowed to her.

"May I see Haldir for a while? My lord?" Arwen stared at him with anxious.

"Sure. Please follow me. My lady. By the way, please just call me Caunion." He smiled with Arwen

"Thank you, Caunion." It's totally beyond her expectations. She couldn't believe it would be that easy.

She followed the Caunion silently. The prison is so dark and humid, she felt dizzy.

"Are you all right? Princess? " Arwen see the concern full of the Caunion's eyes.

"Yes. I am fine." She smiled reluctantly.

Caunion said nothing then they stop in front of a small room.

"Go to see him. My lady. Give him some mercy. I'll look for you later."

He opened the door and left Arwen alone.

"Mercy?" Arwen confused

Afterward, she realized what did Caunion has mentioned.

She saw a horrible vision; Haldir has been chained and his body almost naked. His head hung and blood dropped from his head continuously. His body has been lashed and beat. There are many serious wounds in every part of his body.

Arwen gasped. She felt as if the sky and earth were spinning round. She couldn't believe that they tortured him in such this way. Actually, she hated Haldir deeply. She also wanted he die. However, when she saw his situation, she stupefied.

"Who is there?" Arwen heard a feeble voice.

"Another game will start? How impetuous you gays…." weak but full irony…Yes, that was the Marchwarden used to be speaking frivolous.

Arwen slapped his face like fury suddenly.

"A…Arwen?" Haldir stunned.

"I think I was wrong to come here." Arwen yelled at him.

"Indeed…" Haldir replied sarcastically "Here is not a good place for our highness."

"How could you? How could you say that?" Arwen exasperated

"For your own good, please do not stay here. This is not a good idea to come here." Haldir keep his eyes downcast when he talked to Arwen

"Why you avoid seeing me? Look at me, Haldir. Look at my eyes." Arwen grabbed his jaw and force him to stare at her.

"No! No!" Haldir tried to turn his head away and start to struggle.

"Stop to do foolish thing! Haldir."Arwen spoke harshly,

"Just leave me alone…" Haldir implored

"Do you feel guilt to see me?" Arwen bawled.

"Arwen…" Haldir whispered "I'll pay you back for that I have done to you. Lady Galadriel has her judgment. I was sentence to death."

"Death penalty?" Arwen shocked. It's really unusual that Elf in charge for capital sentence. Criminal Elf always sent into banishment before. She doesn't know why her grandmother had this decision. She is always proud of her Marchwarden and takes care for him sincerely. Why she became heartless? Did she really want to kill Haldir resolutely?

"Yes." Haldir nodded slowly "They will enforce the hanging tomorrow. I hope my death can give you some peace…"

"No!" Arwen covered her ears "Even though you died. I still doubt of I can feel peace. Why they decide it without my permission?"

"The reason for them is their love and they want to protect you from harm. The reason for me is I deserve to be punished." Haldir replied quietly

"Haldir…Could you please tell me why? Why you did it to me?" Arwen murmured

"May I take this secret to the Hall of Mandos?" Haldir whispered

"You know that is unfair to me." Arwen touched his pale face gently. Her tender movements not only wiped Haldir's suffering away but also smashed his defense.

"Oh! Arwen…I am such a demon. How dare I do it to you? You are my dearest friend. I am sorry…" Finally, Haldir crashed by her gentle touch.

"Haldir…please calm down…" Arwen stroked his silver hair soothingly "Tell me the truth… Fight for your conscience, fight for me…"

"Arwen…" Haldir tried to make his breath stable "I did it to you just for my pathetic revenge…I done what was your brothers done to me."

"You mean Elrohir and Elladan?" Arwen gave him an astonished look.

"Yes. Your evil twin brothers they are so shameless." Haldir grinded his teeth in anger" I sent to Imladris by Lady of Light last month. I had no idea why they made me drunk unconsciously then raped me over and over. When I awoke, my nether regions were in pain extremely. I was panicking and trying to stand up but I failed. They mocked me as a "Whore." I stood up hardly and want to fight with them. They grabbed my elbow and slapped me repeatedly until the blood dripped from my nose violently.

After, they threw me to the ground roughly and left. I was so pissing them off! I swore to Valar. I will be revenge that insult. Accidentally, I was thinking about you, their beloved youngest sister…and I…" He hesitated

"And you did the same thing to me?" Arwen cried in fear "By the Valar. I think you are my best friend. How come you betrayed my trust and took my innocence away ruthlessly? "

"I…I am so regretting for hurt you deeply." Haldir choked with sobs "I feel so… sorry for you. Arwen, I know you will never forgive me but I still pray to Valar can take your sorrow and pain away soon. I can't stand to see you suffering this nightmare."

Arwen mired in difficulties. In depths of her heart, she did wish Haldir to die. However, she also melted by Haldir's reaction. She has been Haldir's friend for quite long time. When they were just an elfling, they played under the mallorn trees happily.

Centuries passed, they grew older. He started to take the duty in border. He always greeted her there when Arwen visit Lothlórien. She could see a slightly of joy show on his face. He changed a lot. His physical become a mature and tall Elf. He also changes his attitude. He treated her politely and formal.

At first, she didn't like the way he talked to her.

After that, she found out herself still like Haldir be her companion. They could talk for a long time under the starry star. He is a good listener and never been tired of her. She really cares about Haldir. She also knows Haldir care about her equally. She doesn't know how to dealing with this situation now. She started to whimper. She didn't understand why her heart ached for Haldir. She should be happy for this judgment. Shouldn't she? Should she?

**"HALDIR OF L'ORIEN! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU……"** Arwen screamed with him and ran away

Haldir said nothing; he let himself against the cold wall. At least, he could see his lovely friend once more. He contented. He smiled to himself bitterly…

**TBC….**


	2. Chapter 2: What can you expect to me?

**What Can I Expect? **

Pairing: Haldir and Arwen

Disclaimer: I own none of the following character or settings. All of them belong to the Tolkien estate.

Author's Note:

1. Contain violence.

2. This idea is just my fantasy. If you don't like the pairing or plot, please ignore this fiction.

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Chapter 2: What can you expect to me?

"Haldir. What is your last request?" Caunion asked

Haldir glanced at him "No…" He shocked his head. "Nothing…"

"You…" Cunion sighed

"Take him out." He ordered

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"Orophin! See! It's Haldir!" Rumil grabbed Orophin's arm.

"Haldir!" They cried out from the crowd.

Recognized the voice belong to his brothers. Haldir turned his head tried to search them.

"Over here! Haldir! We are here!" They waved their hands anxiously.

When Haldir found them, he felt sorry for his brothers. He loves them consumedly. He didn't want to see their faces full of sadness.

"Don't cry for me my brothers. I love you! Take care of yourselves. Farewell. " Haldir called out in return

"Oh! God…" Rumil buried his face in Orophin's chest "No! I don't want to see he dies! He is my dearest brother. Do something Orophin! Do something!"

"Rumil…" Orophin hugged him tightly, his own heart was bleeding. He couldn't image their life without Haldir. He is their model, their beloved brother. He always had been perfect and brave in front of people. No one believed he is a criminal when he got the caught. Maybe he was too proud of himself. It cause him couldn't submit to that humiliation. However, that was totally wrong for his revenge…

The Lady of Light and Lord Celeborn were all absent. Where were them? Couldn't they bear to see Haldir die, too? Rumil had a little wishful thinking "Maybe they just want to scare Haldir. Perhaps, they will release him soon…"

"Haldir. Do you admit your guilt?" Judge asked him sternly.

"Yes. My lord." Haldir replied quietly.

"Very well. Execute him." He ordered the executioner.

Rumil almost pass out when he saw the rope around Haldir's neck.

"No! They can't do this to him! They can't do this to him!" He screamed out

Others people stared at Rumil; they all felt sympathy for him.

"Hush! Rumil…" Orophin tried to appease him "Don't let Haldir hear your sob. Don't make him feel worse."

"But…" Rumil sniveled "I don't want Haldir leave us! I don't… Why they in charge him to hanging? Because of the victim is from the royal? That's unfair."

"Shh! Rumil. You can't say in that way. It's also unfair for Arwen. She is a most innocent person. She didn't do anything wrong." Orophin gripped his shoulder

"I am sorry for my offence to Arwen." Rumil replied tearfully "I really want to do anything to make expiation for Haldir's guilt. He is my second Ada. I love him. It's all that evil twins' fault! I will go to kill them! I will point my arrow at their disreputable hearts."

"So do I." Orophin clasped Rumil by the hand. "I will kill both of them." He wept

Indistinctly, Haldir had heard their sob. "Elbereth… Ohmy dear brothers… Please forgive me…" Tears dripped from his eyes silently.

Be a warrior, he did not afraid the death. He just couldn't suffer the pain for leave his brothers forever. He would never see their brightly smile and innocent eyes. He would not have any chance to hear their dulcet singing and witty jokes. Suddenly, he desired to hold them in his arm once again. He wanted to comfort them and wipe their tears away, but what could he say? It was too late to thinking about it.

"Elbereth…I don't want to hear their plaintive wail. I don't…Ah…" He couldn't breath; he couldn't hear any sounds, he only saw the darkness…He lost his conscious.

※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※

"Does someone call my name? What is that fragrance? Nana… Is that you? Oh…Do you know how I miss you? I am so cold and lonely… Nana…Why don't you speak to me? Do you angry with me? Do you disappoint with me? Nana…please says some things! Please …Please…Please…." Haldir moaned.

"Haldir…" someone stroked his face." Wake up…"

"It couldn't be…"Haldir gasped.

He opened his eyes, he found himself was lay in Arwen's talan of L'orien.

"Woe…" He struggled to get up but Arwen grabbed his shoulder to stop him.

"Don't panic. Everything is all right." Arwen spoke in a soft voice. "Haldir, you must rest."

"But…"Haldir confused. "I am suppose to…"

Arwen's palm covered his mouth. "Don't say it…" Dolefulness was hidden in her eyes.

"Something I think I should ask you." Her voice dripped sentimentality. "I went to ask Lady Galadriel to forgive you. But…" She paused.

Haldir looked at her puzzlingly.

"She…She has told me that she did not want to kill you. It was you; to implore her for that judgment. I don't understand. Haldir. Why you have this strange demand? Do you really wish to leave your brothers forever?" Arwen tilted her head to queried him.

"I thought I could deal with it." Haldir turned his head to avoid her gaze "However…I found out that was not easy to me…even though…I did not regret my choice."

"Why?" Arwen whispered "Can you tell me why?"

"I…" Haldir grasped the blanket. "Do you mind we change to another topic?"

"Why you refuse to tell me?" Arwen lifted his face tried to survey some clues from his azure blue eyes. However, they were sparked with mystery.

"Haldir…"Arwen sighed "You are too difficult to understand. You treat me like a fool, don't you?"

"No. I never treat you in this way." He protested

"Then…You will tell me your real reason, won't you?" Arwen gazed to him.

"I just…I just…" He stammered.

Arwen waited for him patiently.

"I have hurt someone who I cherished extremely. I was too ashamed to face her anymore." Haldir whimpered. Tears slid on his fair face.

Arwen stand frozen with shock. She has never sensing that Haldir has the special feeling to her.

She tried to recall whole her memories. When? She frowned. Did she really miss something?

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Maybe…only once, Haldir had an unusual behavior in her birthday party...

It was her first time to introduce Estel to him. After they said hello to each other, Haldir was missing.

When she found him, he was sitting under the table with lots of empty bottles.

"Oops…Arwen…" He smiled at her pleasantly. "You find me."

"Haldir…What are you doing here?" Arwen took the bottle away from his hand. "Hey! You drink too much."

"Arwen…"His face darkened. "Why you need to concern about me?"

"Silly warden." Arwen pinched his nose lightly. "We are best friends. Of course I care for you."

Haldir looked at her silently.

She pulled his arm. "Oh! Come on.What's wrong with you? Come to eat my cake. Estel has made it for me. It's chocolate flavor. You'll like that taste."

"Do you in love with that guy?" Haldir asked unexpectedly.

"Why you ask me this question?" Arwen flushed "You embarrass me!"

Haldir smiled at her. "Finally, our Evenstar has found someone…I think…I should happy for her."

"Really? I thought you don't like human." Arwen exclaimed in surprise.

"No. I still don't like them." Haldir grinned "Men are annoying."

"You are such an arrogant elf." Arwen pushed him.

"Ah!" She fell to him accidentally.

"Be careful." Haldir held her.

Time as if still… She was awfully close Haldir right now. Leaned against his muscular chest, Arwen only heard Haldir's cadenced heartbeats and felt his warm body heat. She was hypnotized by his embrace.

"Elbereth! He hugged me tightly. Why he stare at me like that? Ooh…What can I do? Wait! Arwen Undomiel! What are you thinking about? He is just your friend. Let him go…" Arwen screamed to herself inwardly.

"Arwen..." Haldir cooed

"Happy Birthday." He kissed her cheek softly. The light blinked through his indigo eyes.

"Do you want to eat my cake?" Arwen murmured.

"Ha…" Haldir chuckled "You really don't know how lovely you are, aren't you?" He touched her hair gently.

Arwen pouted pretended that she was angry.

"All right then. I'll go with you…" He sighed.

"Come on. Let's go to eat that weird cake. It's chocolate flavor, you will like it!" He mimicked her voice and ran away.

"HADIR O L'ORIEN!" Arwen traced behind him.

After that day, Haldir became more formal and polite to her. He didn't talk to her actively. His smile became less. He kept his distance with her. His attitude made her confused. She tried to ask him the reason. When she met his enigmatic eyes, she shrank back. The last day that she stayed in L'orien, she found him stood under the mallorn tree seemed lost in thought.

"Haldir…" She called his name unwittingly.

He didn't answer her, he gestured her over.

"Here…" He gave her a small box. "I forgot to give it to you."

"What is it?" She asked curiously.

"Nothing…" He said quietly.

"Haldir...I'll go back tomorrow..." Arwen stared at him.

"I know..." He nodded. "I have to go to border in tomorrow early morning. I afraid that I can not go fish with you."

"But you promised me that you will go with me!" Arwen cried out. "I prepared everything already."

"I am sorry..." He regrettably.

"You mean to do it! I know..." Arwen glared at him.

Haldir sighed. "Maybe you can go with Estel..."

"What are you talking about?" Arwen's eyes were wide. "He doesn't know the location here."

"But you do know, right?" Haldir's hands put on her shoulder. "Arwen...Don't be angry with me. I have my duty, I can not disobey it. It's your turn to show here for Estel now. Oh...no...no...no...Don't cry..." He wiped her tears away gently. "Hey...What's wrong?"

"I don't know..." Arwen shock her head. "I just like crying..."

"Oh..." Haldir hugged her and stroked her back tenderly. "Don't cry..."

"Haldir...Why you change a lot?" Arwen whimpered. "Aren't we best friends?"

He didn't reply this question but Arwen could feel he held her tighter.

"Farewell...Arwen..." He whispered.

"Good bye…Haldir…" She sobbed.

When she opend the smaill box, that was a pair of earrings; they made in silver and shaped of small stars. They were exquisite and likable. Sheloves them very much. They were not only a gift but have her dear friend's cordial benediction also. When she saw the earrings, she always thinking about Haldir. Her stern but lovable friend…

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"If you love me…Why you never show me?" Arwen sobbed.

"I…"Haldir lowered the head. "I was afraid that I will lose your friendship forever…I don't whish it happens…"

"Why you never try before?" Arwen closed her tearful eyes. "Why you always think too much? I am sorry. Haldir…It's too late to me. Especially…you already hurt me…What can you expect to me? Jump to you and accept your love?"

"I know…I totally understand…" Haldir put his hands over his head. His heart was broken into pieces by Arwen's words. It was unbearably painful. He shook violently. He wanted to escape this abashed situation. He pushed the blanket away and went down from the bed. His legs were so weak that he could hardly stand. It caused him fell down to the floor.

"Haldir! What are you doing?" Arwen ran toward him.

Haldir didn't answer her. He just crawled; his face was white and sweating.

"You mean to hurt yourself, right?" Arwen drew his arm. "Go back to your bed. Haldir!"

"Look at you. You are a caddish servant! You think my little sister will love you? Don't be naive. Compare with you, she would rather choose a man." Elrohir's fleer repeated in his mind cruelly.

"Shut up! Shut up!" Haldir howled out and pounded the floor angrily.

"Haldir…" Arwen was startled. She has never seen Haldir acting like this before. She reached him and dragged him close to her.

"Arwen…"Haldir muttered. "I don't deserve your love because I am a humble servant, right?"

"Of course not!" Arwen denied. "Who said that?"

"E…Elrohir…"Silver tears spilled from his unfocused eyes.

"Oh…Elbereth…"Arwen nestled her head on his shoulder. "Don't believe his vicious remarks. It is not true!"

"What the hell are you doing Haldir?" Door was thrust open, Elrohir and Elladan bursted in.

"Get rid off her!" They pulled them apart.

"You…" The thought of the way he had been treated made Haldir rage.

He struggled to stand and gave Elrohir a smash on the jaw.

"Ouch!" Elrohir yelled with pain.

"Damn you! Haldir!" Elladan tried to stroke back but Haldir grabbed his fist.

"You should not disdain me." He kicked Elladan in the stomach brutally.

"Ooh…" Elladan fell prostrate on the floor.

Elrohir hit Haldir's head unwares then they brawled in the room.

"Stop it! You are insane!" Arwen screamed.

They didn't heed her advice. They were still grappling fiercely.

She ran to them and stood between two of them.

At the moment, Haldir was beating to Elrohir.

"Wow!" She closed her eyes with fear.

His clenched hand ceased in front of her face timely.

"I almost hurt you!" Fire burned in his eyes.

Arwen stood there helplessly crying.

"Come on! Haldir! Do you scare?" Elrohir sneered.

"Arwen…Go away…" Haldir said coldly.

"No…" She held Haldir's shoulder. "Don't…"She begged him weakly.

Haldir bit his lips and tried to control his temper constrainedly.

Arwen couldn't help but shiver. The feeling of dizzy and ill made her fainted in Haldir's arm.

"Arwen!" Haldir was terrified by her situation.

He took Arwen to outside hastily.

"Help! Somebody helps me!" He cried out anxiously.

**_TBC…_**


	3. Chapter 3: A sad promise

What Can I Expect? 

Main Pairing: Haldir and Arwen

Disclaimer: I own none of the following character or settings. All of them belong to the Tolkien estate.

Author's Note:

1. Contain sexual.

2. This idea is just my fantasy. If you don't like the pairing or plot, please ignore this fiction.

3. Thanks for positive common. No flam, please.

4. I'm asking for a beta reader. I really hope someone can help me. I will very appreciate your help.

**Chapter 3: A Sad Promise**

A rainy day, Arwen stood in front of the window. She frowned. She never like rainy day, especially rain accompanied with thunder made her impatient.

She drew the curtain and wants to rest earlier. By the surprised, she saw Haldir cringed under the tree in the garden.

"HaldirWhat are you doing there? It's dangerous. Enter the house quickly." Arwen shouted to him.

Haldir didn't move. He soaked in rainwater and seems lost his wits. Without thinking, Arwen ran to outside and dragged him up. "Come! Let's get in the house."

Haldir allowed her dragged himself, they entered to Arwen's room together.

"Are you feeling cold?" Arwen queried.

"I…I…" Haldir stammered. He couldn't help but shaking.

"Look at you…you all wet. Take your tunic off quickly. You should dry yourself first." Arwen suggested him.

"No. It's unnecessary." He twisted to face the wall.

Arwen sighed; she closed to Haldir and tried to help him to remove his tunic.

Haldir yelled out. He pushed Arwen away and scrunched into a corner.

"Don't touch me!" He warned Arwen indignantly.

"Haldir, mellon…Are you all right? You know that I will not hurt you, do you?" Arwen tried to sooth him. She did really care about her friend and wondered to know what's happen to him. She saw the extreme of fear in his eyes.

Haldir hesitated for a while then stripped his clothes.

"Arwen…cold…It's cold here…" He moaned.

In her hurry she took a towel to cover him. "Do you feel better?" She asked him worriedly.

Suddenly, Haldir clenched her wrists.

"Haldir, I'll take some hot tea for you. Please loose your grip." She gasped.

"No…No…"Contrarily, Haldir held her tightly. "Don't leave me alone, please…" He forced Arwen leaned against him and started to kiss her neck and face roughly. His tongue was seeking hers; she felt his arousal and smelled his sexual musk.

"Stop it Haldir! You scared me!" Arwen exclaimed.

However, he didn't stop. He carried Arwen to her bed and ripped her dress rudely. The thunders deafened her scream and sob. Arwen closed her eyes tried to ignore the sharp pain in her private. Tears covered her glamorous face; she was too shocked by Hadlir's action. With his intense movements, her long delicate fingers intolerably scratched his board back. "Ah" She cried out….

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"Arwen. Don't cry…my baby…wake up…" Lord Elrond caressed Arwen's forehead.

Arwen screamed. When her eyes met her father's, she burst into tears. "Oh…Ada…" She hugged him tightly.

"My poor daughter…" Elrond whispered in her ears. "Don't be afraid…I'm here. No one will hurt you."

For a while, Arwen stop crying. "Ada. Why you come here?" She asked.

"Lady Galadriel asked me to come here…" Elrond stared at Arwen in mercy. "Arwen…Do you know you…" Elrond hesitated

"Know what?" Arwen asked fearfully.

"You are pregnant?" Elrond lowered his voice.

Arwen gazed at him and nodded.

"You already knew it?" Elrond surprised. "Do you know who is sire? Is Estel or Hal...?"

Arwen cut his word. "Ada…I don't know. I really don't know. I'm so sorry…" She shook her head sadly.

Elrond knitted his brows. That was anticipation to him. He stroke Arwen's head lightly. "It's not your fault my daughter. However…"

"Ada! Please don't kill my baby!" Arwen covered her abdomen nervously. "I know that I brought discredit on the whole family but my baby is innocent. I…"

"Arwen…Arwen…"Elrond squeezed her hand slightly. "Don't panic. I will not kill your baby. I just want to tell you that Haldir already knew you get pregnancy."

"He knew?" Arwen scowled. "He doesn't need to know that. Why you tell him?"

Elrond looked at her and sighed. "When I arrived here, I saw your brothers blamed and beat him. Surprisingly, he was impervious to their criticism. He knelt down to me and begged me to save you. After I examined you, I went to outside. I saw him was still kneeling down on the floor to pray for you. He looks so piteous and genuine. I admitted his attitude melted my heart. Therefore, I told to him about your condition to relieve him."

"What was his reaction?" There was a slight curiousness expression on Arwen's face.

"At first, he was shocked by my words. Afterward he started crying. He asked me to allow him to see you but I refused him. I gave him a lecture for his mistake. I could see the obvious shame and regrets show on his face." Elrond said.

"Hum! That's not my business." Arwen sat back to her bed.

Elrond shook his head; he knew Arwen just pretended to be unconcerned about Haldir. "Arwen, do you still hate him? He was a nice person before. Actually, I really appreciated him. He is so responsible and faithful. He…"

"Ada! What's mater with you? Do you hint me maybe I can get marry with him? I can't believe that you said such things. Especially, I am in love with Estel already." Arwen cried out.

"Estel is a good person but he is a mortal!" Elrond spoke in a stern voice. "In my opinion, he is just a spark in your immortal life. After Estel pass away, you will live alone and bear the suffering until you fade. Why you need to choose that brief happiness? I am your father and I try my best to protect you. You really prefer abandon your family and people forever? Where is my good girl? Don't you love me anymore?"

"You know that I love you Ada…" Arwen choked with sob.

"Really?" Elrond stared at her. "So you are willing to think about my suggestion?"

"Yes…"Arwen nodded grudgingly.

"Very well…" Elrond grinned. "I'm going to chat with your grandmother now. You can take a rest. Don't worry. I'll come back soon."

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Arwen's heart was ache by her father's words. She could not believe that her dearest father would rather she get married with Haldir. She couldn't help but crying.

Someone entered her room; he knelt by the side of her bed and wiped her tears off. "Arwen…What's wrong? Please don't cry. Your bad mood will affect your baby." His voice was full of worry.

"Oh…Haldir…"Arwen closed her eyes. Why him? Why he appear here when she was badly in need of comfort? Why Valars made this joke to her? Why?

"Don't cry…"Haldir held her lightly. "Do you feel sick again? Is there anything else you want? Please tell me."

Arwen shook her head, her tears dropped unceasingly. She was too sad for talk.

Unexpectedly, Haldir started to sing to her. In his low voice, Arwen recognized this song was she has sung to him when they were elflings. She could not believe that he is still remembering this song. In a familiar melody, her arms around his neck unknowingly. He has consoled her with his magic singing.

When he ended of the song, he strokes her ebony hair gently. "Do you feel better?" He asked in a soft voice.

Arwen leaned on his strong shoulder and nodded her head. They were silent for a moment. "Why you remember this song?" Arwen broke the silence.

"Well…" He smiled at her. "This song has meanings a lot to me. How could I forget it?"

Arwen touched his bruised face tenderly. "Haldir…"She whispered.

"Shh…I am fine. Don't worry about me." He said quietly. "Do you want to drink or eat something?"

"No…I…" She faltered.

"How about an apple?" He took an apple and cut into pieces in a crystal plate.

"Eat…" He gave to her.

"No…" Arwen refused.

"Baby is hungry." He put a piece up to her lips and fed it to her.

Arwen chewed it as fast as she could. "Hal…"

Haldir fed her another piece. "Not enough. You should eat more." He was in earnest.

Finally, she finished whole apples. "I can't eat anymore…" Arwen protested.

"All right." Haldir cleaned up the table. "What are you going to tell me?"

"Haldir…I…" Arwen paused. She did not understand why she feels nervous. "My father forced me to marry you." She murmured.

"Huh?" Haldir turned to look at her. "Lord Elrond pushes his adorable daughter to a guardian? Be her husband? Me? Is it a dream?" He was speechless with astonishment.

"Haldir. I beg you. Can you tell my father that you don't want to marry me? Can you refuse his demand? Please?" Arwen implored.

Arwen's asking like a dagger stabbed into his heart cruelly. It was hurt to hear that. Haldir tried his best to keep his tears not spilt from his eyes easily. This time, he did not want to show his helpless to Arwen.

"Love her, just let her go. Giving her your best whishes then go away. She will never be yours. Haldir… be strong. I know you can do it. Yes. You can do it." He told to himself in his heart bitterly.

"Uh huh. I'll tell him that." He promised.

"Thank you." Arwen was grateful to his help. She tended to him and gave him a hug. Exceeding her expectations, she felt Haldir is trembling; she raised her head but met his tearful eyes.

"Haldir, what's wrong?" His reaction surprised her.

"Nothing…" He avoided her sapphire eyes. "Dust stung my eyes." He made an unnatural smile to her.

"You lie." Arwen cried out. "Do not try to deceive me."

"It is not an important thing, is it?" Haldir hissed. He hated his weakness. Why everything looks so blurred? No. He did not whish to cry in front of Arwen again. Never!

In that moment, he pushed open the door and ran away. In his every lonely night, he always thinks of Arwen. He loves her smiley eyes and angelical personality. He wishes he could holding her in his arms and take care of her forever. Since his dream was vanished, there is noting good for him to live anymore…no anymore…

"Arwen…I'm sorry. I still love you. I don't want to just be your friend." He closed his eyes tried to forget all about her but it did not work. Arwen was occupied his whole memory already.

"I believe that we can be the best friends forever." Arwen smiled at him happily. "I really hope you would join our weeding. I want you be Estel's best man. That will be great!"

Why just be your best friend? His heart was bleeding. Why you never notice me? Why you didn't find that I am different from before? I could see someone in your eyes when you lean your head on my shoulder. I only can get your friendship, isn't it? Don't treat me gentler! I don't need your pity!

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"Hey! Look! It's "Mister Perfect"." Elrohir mocked acidly.

"Yah. He is preparing to steal our little sister's heart again." Elladan echoed.

"Watch your mouths. I don't have time for this." Haldir said coldly.

"Oh…Our gentleman said he has **no time** with us. Does he really forget he has **slept **with us?" Elrohir sneered.

"What!" Haldir's blood was boiling by Elrohir's derision. He could endure it no longer. He tilted to Elrohir, three of them tussled violently again…

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"Don't you know he was debilitated for fight? Why you always pour ridicule on my friend? Is that really funny?" Arwen yelled to her brothers.

"Who knows? He stared it first." Both of them shrugged their shoulders.

"If something happens to him, I'll never forgive you!" Arwen shouted to them.

"Arwen. Why are you so mad? You don't happy with what we did?" Elladan queried.

"Silent!" Elrond went out from the room.

"Ada. Is he all right? Can I go to see him?" Arwen asked worriedly.

"He is fine. Go to see him." Elrond motioned.

"Hey! Arwen! What's matter with you?" Elrohir tried to seize her but Elrond prevented him.

"Both of you follow me. I have something need to tell you." Elrond stared at them.

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"Stop to fight with Haldir." Elrond spoke in a severe voice.

"Why!" They cried out.

"That's because I want to use him to take your sister to Valinor. I **do not** wish anyone ruin my plan!" Elrond said in a harsh tone.

"But Haldir insulted Arwen and he…he is a guardian…"Elladan flustered.

"So?" Elrond raised his eyebrow. "The important thing is I don't want my Arwen get marry with a mortal. She must go with us to Undying Land together. Besides, I don't care she get marry with Haldir or whoever."

"Ada…This is unfair!" Elrohir protested. "Estel and Arwen love each other. Maybe he is baby's father. Why you insist on break them up? "

"Actually, it is** very difficult** to separate them up…" Elrond smiled wickedly. "I think I shall thanks for you first. But for your help, Haldir would not get involve with this matter. You guys really did a great job."

Elrohir and Elladan dumbfounded. It was their first time had regrets for their actions. How could they face their best friend, Estel? They were anxious…

TBC…


	4. Chapter 4: Memories

**What Can I Expect? **

Main Pairing: Haldir and Arwen

Disclaimer: I own none of the following characters or settings. All of them belong to the Tolkien estate.

Author's Note:

1. This idea is just my fantasy. If you don't like the pairing or plot, please ignore this fiction.

2. Thanks for positive comments. No flames, please.

3. Many thanks to my kind beta- Efia-an.

**Chapter 4: Memories**

Arwen ran into the room. Haldir was lying on the bed. He seemed to be soundly asleep.

Her steps were soft. Suddenly, her eyes fell on the knife on the table beside the fruit.

"This knife looks sharp..." She caressed it very cautiously. She took it and got lost in thought…

"_Haldir, I'll make some hot tea for you. Please loosen your grip."_

"_No…No…" Ignoring her request, Haldir continued to hold her tightly. "Don't leave me alone, please…" He forced Arwen leaned against him and started to kiss her neck and face roughly. His tongue was seeking hers; she felt his arousal and smelled his sexual musk._

"_Stop it Haldir! You're scaring me!"_

Arwen grasped her hair; these terrible memories were like a nightmare that had been unceasingly pestering her. She resentfully stared at Haldir, an idea flashing through her mind.

"Now is the time…" An odd light sparkled in her eyes; she took a few soundless steps toward Haldir.

She saw Haldir was still asleep and didn't sense any danger. Arwen looked at his crystal clear pupils and found her hand was shaking.

"Kill him Arwen Undomiel! Do it at once" Arwen urged herself. She took a deep breath and aimed the knife at his heart…

Flashback

"Arwen! Please get down from the tree. It's dangerous!" Haldir called out.

"Wow! There's a fine view of the waterfall from the treetop. Haldir! You should climb the tree with me. It's so beautiful." Arwen laughed happily.

"No, no, no. You should down from the tree now. Lord Elrond has asked me to protect you. It's really not safe there." Haldir requested.

"Humph! Don't forget I am an elf! How can I fall from the tree? You only care my father's command. You are such a good friend;" she said sarcastically, "Go away! I don't need your protection." Arwen hissed.

Haldir didn't leave He raised his eyes to Arwen worriedly.

"See? I also can dance here!" She spun on her toes like a dancer.

Suddenly, Haldir heard her cry out in fear. Turning, he saw Arwen falling from the tree.

"Arwen!" Without the thinking, Haldir rushed to her…

"Ada…I'm sorry! I promise you that I will never climb the mallorn tree again. Please…forgive me…" Arwen whimpered.

"I told you to not climb the tree. Why do you never comply with my orders?" Elrond frowned.

"Ada. I am really sorry. Please save Haldir! He is dying." She broke down and started sobbing aloud.

Elrond didn't know whether he should laugh or cry at Arwen's reaction. "Arwen, Haldir just broke his rib He will not die. Don't panic. A healer will take care for him."

Rumil helped Haldir to walk out from the healing room. Haldir's face was pale and sweating.

"Haldir…I am sorry. I'm very sorry…" Arwen collapsed on his chest.

"Arwen, I am fine. It is not your fault. Really…" Haldir said in a soft voice.

"But…But…" Arwen sobbed. "It was me who broke your rib…"

"Ha…" Rumil couldn't help laughing.

"Rumil!" Haldir glared at him.

Elrond coughed. "Arwen. You should let go of Haldir. Don't you see he's in pain?"

Arwen withdrew from Haldir. "I'm sorry…" She blushed.

"It doesn't matter Arwen" Haldir smiled at her.

End of flashback

His smile was like sunshine in the winter. It made her feel warm and at peace. He was always protecting her and keeping his eyes on her when she was around him. He said he loved to be her guardian forever. If she needed help, he would stand up and volunteer to help. However, he disobeyed his commitment to protect her. He disobeyed it!

Tears shed on her porcelain face Arwen hated she was not hardhearted enough to kill Haldir. She knelt down on the floor feebly, her helpless sob awakening Haldir.

"Arwen!" Haldir jumped from the bed. "Why are you kneeling here? What happened?" Haldir grabbed her shoulder lightly. "Come, the floor is cold."

"You said you would protect me forever but you lied!" Arwen sobbed, kicking and crying.

"Arwen…" The words lumped in Haldir's throat.

"I hate you Haldir! You are a liar! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you…" Arwen bent over floor and wept.

"Arwen…I am sorry…I am really sorry…I wish I didn't do this thing to you...I am so sorry that I hurt you…" He lifted her chin. "Arwen…I do not dare ask for your forgiveness. I only want you think about yourself and the baby. I don't want you to get hurt. Please try to calm down. I beg you…"

"Don't touch me!" Arwen pushed him. "Go away! You are such a hypocritical elf. Leave me alone!" She cried out.

Haldir fell over. He got up with difficulty, finding blood on his arm.

"I...I didn't mean to hurt you…" Arwen was terrified by this situation.

"It's all right Arwen…Everything is all right…" He hugged her and took the knife from her hand gently.

"Hal…" She bleated.

"Shh…Shh…It's OK. It's OK…" Haldir stroked her back tenderly. "Come…You should rest…" He helped her to the bed.

"No! No! Don't hurt me!" Arwen screamed.

Haldir made her lie down and covered her with blanket. "SleepArwenI will not hurt you…" He tried his best to soothe her. "Don't be afraid. I will do what you asked. I am leaving right now."

"Where are you going?" Arwen cried out.

"I am going …" Haldir lower his head. "Somewhere you don't know…somewhere you don't need to see my disgusting face again…"

"No…" Arwen shook her head. "Your arm is bleeding…"

"Don't you understand?" he smiled bitterly. "I frightened you. How can you stay with the devil? You should not be so kind. For your own good, I am leaving now…"

"No…" Arwen grabbed his hand impatiently. "You know that…I don't really want you go…" she whispered.

Haldir froze; he didn't know how to answer her. He looked at Arwen's innocent eyes shamefacedly. She was pure and delicate. He felt a sudden pang of regret, tears spilled from his eyes silently…

Flashback

"Haldir go to ask Arwen for a dance." Orophin encouraged him.

"Maybe…maybe later…" Haldir stammered.

"Come on! The party will be over soon. This is your last chance. Go Haldir go! " Rumil urged him, too.

"All…all right…" He drank a mug of wine, trying to steady his nerves.

He walked toward Arwen. Tonight, she was a shining star at the feast. Every elf tried their best to get her attention. She danced with them and chatted with them joyfully. He was too shy to ask her in front of everyone. Nervousness made his heart beat violently.

"Ar…"Elrohir and Elladan cut his words and grabbed his arms. "Hey! Haldir! You want to dance with us?"

"Get off me!" Haldir struggled.

"Don't be shy…Which one would you like be your dancing partner? Me or Elladan?" Elrohir teased him.

"Ha…." His joke made everyone laugh.

"I am not interested in either of you!" Haldir shouted at him. He got rid of them and ran away.

"Ha…Elrohir! He is mean!" Someone mocked.

"Shut up!" Elrohir raged.

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"Stupid party! Stupid twins!" Haldir muttered and ran to the garden.

"Haldir!" Rumil and Orophin chased after him. "Are you all right? Don't worry about their taunts. It's nothing."

"Nothing!" He glowered resentfully at them.

"Haldir…Are you angry with us?" Orophin asked carefully.

"No! I am angry with myself!" Haldir kicked the pebbles. **"**I should have stayed away instead of coming to this party.**"**

"But…you said you want to give Arwen a surprise." Rumil reminded him.

"Oh…Thanks for your reminder." Haldir snarled. "No more surprises! No more!"

"Rumil!" Orophin dragged Rumil's arm. "Let's leave him alone. He is being unreasonable now. He really needs to stay on the border patrol forever because he loves orcs more than Arwen."

Haldir felt bad about Orophin's words He knew he should not show his anger towards them.

"I am sorry..." he finally said in a whisper.

"Excuse me?" Orophin glanced at him.

"You heard me," Haldir frowned.

"No. I only heard the sound of the wind…" Orophin winked at Rumil. "Rumil, did you hear something?"

"What ?" Rumil smiled wickedly.

Haldir sighed. "I said… **'I AM SORRY!'**"

"It's all right…" Orophin put his arm around Haldir's shoulder. "We understand your feelings. I don't like their jokes, either."

"Don't be disheartened. You still have chance next time." Rumil caressed his face.

"Hey! Don't treat me like an elfling!" Haldir said, dodging his touch.

"Ha…" They burst into laughter.

"Haldir here you are." Arwen panted. "Why do you always play "hide and seek" with me?" She questioned.

"I…" Haldir blushed. "I am going home with my brothers now. Good night." He drew his brother's arms, hinting that they should leave.

"Wait!" Arwen yelled out.

Orophin and Rumil stared at each other then pushed Haldir to Arwen.

"Good night Arwen and Haldir" they laughed and disappeared.

"Huh?" Haldir was flustered.

"Haldir what's the matter with you?" His confused look made Arwen laugh.

"Ah…nothing…" He pretended to scratch his head. "Why don't you stay with your friends? I think they must be looking for you."

"In fact, I am with my friend now." Arwen smiled at him.

"Uh…" Haldir was dumbfounded. He only could hear his rapid heartbeat.

"Silly warden!" Arwen hit his forehead lightly. "Wake up! Don't you want to dance with me?"

"_Elbereth… Did you hear what she said? Stupid Haldir! How could you let the lady ask you first?"_ He thought to himself and stepped back involuntarily.

"There is no music…" He made an excuse. "How can we dance?"

"It's easy…" Arwen smiled pleasantly. "We can sing and dance at the same time."

"Wow...what a wonderful idea." He was moved by her thoughtfulness.

"Lady Arwen…." He bowed to her. "May I dance with you?"

"Certainly…" She reached her hand to him.

Sway, fall, rise, sway, fall, rise and repeat…

They were dancing with Arwen's melodious singing in the moonlight. Haldir held Arwen carefully. Her glamour almost took his breath away. He has waited a long time for this day; he never thought his dream would come true.

Arwen's long silky hair was blowing in the wind. She followed his steps deftly. Her smiling eyes stared at Haldir, his hair shining extraordinarily silver in the moonlight. She found herself unable to move her eyes from his handsome face. She liked his warm big hand guiding her. With her hand on his broad back, she could feel his muscles flexing beneath her fingers. She was confused as to why she has these strange feelings for her good friend.

"Why did you stop?" Arwen asked as he stopped dancing.

"You stop it first." He blinked his eyes in innocence.

"Really?" Arwen felt embarrassed.

"I think you are tired." Haldir smiled at her. "Come. Let me walk you home."

"Oops…It's raining now!" Arwen said as she felt the rain begin to fall.

"Strange weather…" Haldir took off his cloak to cover her.

"No…" Arwen spread the cloak over both of them. "We can hide together…"

"As you wish…" Haldir grinned and held her arm.

They began to run to shelter, but the rain was too heavy. They had no choice but to sit on the stone under the tree until it stopped.

"Are you all right?" Haldir took out his handkerchief and handed to her.

"Thank you…" Arwen accepted it. "You can use mine." She gave hers to him.

"Thanks…" Haldir took it but did't use it. He put on his pocket without her noticing.

"Haldir…" He heard her sweet voice called his name.

"What?" He glanced at her uneasily.

"Thanks for you asking me to dance." Arwen smiled at him.

"It's nothing…"He smiled back to her. "I should thank for you gave me this chance…"

"I really had a good time tonight." She beamed.

"So do I." His hand put on her shoulder. "You are shivering…Feel cold?"

"A little bit…" Arwen rubbed her hands. "Haldir. Would you mind if I hug you?"

"What?" The silver haired Elf was staring at her, his blue eyes wide and his jaw dropping.

"What's that face?" Arwen wrenched his nose. "Is it a strange request for you?"

"Ow…Ow…Ow…." Haldir yelled out. "You are not acting like a lady. Milady…"

"So?" Arwen raised her eyebrows. "You are not acting like a gentleman, either."

"All right…" Haldr opened his arms. "Come here…." He sighed.

"He..he…" Arwen threw herself to him mischievously.

"Ouch!" Haldir cried out. "That hurts." He coughed.

"Be quiet!" Arwen leaned her head on his chest.

Haldir tried to steady his breath. _"Don't think too much…She just feels cold…"_ He was keeping remind himself.

"It's warmer now…"Arwen held him. "Haldir…you are like my teddy bear…"

"You mean that I am your "Didi"?" Haldir exclaimed.

"Not bad. You remember my Didi." Arwen laughed gladly.

"Of course I remember him…" Haldir pouted. "He was your favorite. You were always talking about him when you were an elfling. Don't tell me you are still holding him when you sleep."

"Why not?" Arwen stared at him. "Didi loves sleeping with me…."

"You are unbelievable!" Haldir laughed.

"I haven't seen you laugh so much in a long time." Arwen murmured. "Your smiles have become fewer these years my friend. I think there is something weighing on your mind. Can you tell me what happened? I am willing to help you."

"No one can help me…"Haldir petted her head slightly. "If you count me among your friends, please don't ask me."

"But…" Arwen protested, yawning.

"No but…." He watched her then shook his head with a soft chuckle. Arwen was sleeping in his embrace sweetly.

"I think…I am willing to be your Didi forever…" Haldir whispered

End of flashback

Haldir suddenly dropped to his knees. "Arwen… Why did you spare me? You should have let me die for my sin" he sobbed.

"When I thought that I might lose you…" Arwen grasped his hand. "My heart cried."

"Arwen…"Haldir's face rubbed against her hand. "I don't deserve your mercy…" His hot tears rolled down to her palm.

"I am tired…" Arwen whispered, "I don't want to talk about it now…"

"Sleep Arwen…" Haldir put her hand back to the blanket. "I'll stay here with you…"

"You promise?" Arwen murmured.

"I promise…" He whimpered.

Arwen relaxed herself then fell to sleep.

Haldir sat on a chair beside her. He buried his face to his palms…Guilt and regret almost suffocated him. He realized that this punishment was more serious than the death. He laughed and cursed himself for his pathetic revenge. He didn't even care for the wound in his right arm; the physical pain was less than his heartache.

"No…Haldir….No…" Arwen screamed in her dream.

"Elbereth…" He cried out. "I can't sustain it anymore!"

He ran outside and tried to steady himself.

Suddenly, a sword leaned against his neck.

"Do not dare to move!" Someone warned him in a harsh voice.

Haldir looked over at his shoulder at the speaker. "I know who you are." he sneered. "Just do it Estel son of Arathorn!"

_**TBC…**_


End file.
